I was never really good friends with him, but you kind of get attached to people you work with on such a huge project and have a bit of the same interests.
Actually, I never really liked him. His whole crowd aggravated me.

Things are moving at too fast of a pace, now.
I was washing my car outside, and it was like... Dude, when did I get a car? I totally couldn't drive 3 years ago. And as I was doing that, my neighbor walked by with our swim coach's son. I remember when he rushed away from practice because his wife was in labor. That was 2 years ago. Their son is 2 years old.
How is it that possible that kids grow up that fast? Seriously, it seemed to take so much more time.
I feel like I've done nothing but study this past year. And I feel like most of the stuff has happened in this past year. I don't know.
I feel like I need to take a break and just pay attention to everything around me.

I'm really dreading the day when I leave this town, come back, and everyone I knew is gone. Everyone else seems to hate this place so freakin much. I don't really mind it. In fact, I'd like to say... but only if it stayed the same.
I guess I'm not going to stay around here, if that's the case, you know?

It's just weird.
I want to just stop and slow down.
I keep working, working, working and, sure, that's going to be great when I'm old and have money to waste time and just pay attention. But I want to pay attention now, and tomorrow, and for the rest of my life. I want to work, too, but I also want to have time to actually realize what's going on.

And that's why I don't want to go to med school. I think I'm going to get my degree in Athletic Training, maybe double major in Exercise Science since it'd only be one extra semester of classes. I'm thinking about a Spanish minor, too, but I haven't had any Spanish and that'd also be another extra semester. So instead of the regular 4 years, it'd be 5. I don't know if it's worth it. They say a double major is a waste of time. But I definitely will find a way to get a minor in Spanish. That will be useful, I think.
Then I want to go to grad school and do physical therapy, or however people obtain physical therapy degrees (gotta start looking that up). And then perhaps work somewhere and find a hospital to pay for a doctorate degree and maybe I can get on the top of the physical therapy/athletics situation.
It'll be hard. But not as notoriously hard as med school.
And then after med school there's residency and moonlighting, and by then you're 30something and you have to start working really hard to even start making money. And I'm fine with not making a tontonton of money. I just want enough to support a family and have some to spare, and I think physical therpay would do that, you know?

It's whatever. I'm just surprised that he's moving and that this semi-famous family will be gone from this town. It's better for him, of course. He's going to get big and successful, I can feel it. Good for him.

You know what sucks, I just realized some people aren't my friends.
I don't know what they are.
They're people I can hang out with, but I don't.

I miss one's niceness, and the other's mannerisms...among other things. The others I can do without. Ha.

Exactly what I had predicted... totally just happened. Maybe not as quickly as I'd anticipated, but nonetheless.

I had tutoring today, except he called around 1 to cancel because he had to go to MoTown?
I haven't touched chemistry today. I just want to go play soccer with my sister's team. But I can't. I'm not a part of the team, and the team has to have physicals, anyway.

I'll go running, later.
I need to do some health science, too.
But I'd just rather play WoW... lol.
I haven't played since Monday! Rar!!

Of course, it doesn't appear that any of them have either.
Whatever.

I want to scrapbook, but I don't have time.
Like, I'm sitting here just being overwhelmed by all the things I need to do, but don't have time to do. You'd think I'd move and get started and do something. But for some reason, I'd rather just pour it all out into a text to look at it.
Whatever.

I just downloaded the best of Ricky Martin 2001. It's horrible, hahaha...

I want to do something.
I should have gone to Texas with my sister, but I'm not even a part of the Key Club. I could have, somehow, made $1200.

I don't know if we're going to see Blink 182. We need to find a male to go with us so we don't get raped or whatever could possibly happen.
Mike wants to go to an aquarium... but the closest one is 4 hours away...
I want to go to the beach. But going with my family is not an option... guhh. And everyone else already planned to go with their family or other people.

I just need to do something. I really don't even like getting wet. I don't like being half naked. I just want to walk around, be at ease, and have the option to play in the sand.

The fact that I keep complaining about it isn't going to make it better.

Farrah is saving to go to Germany to see Nadja. I wonder if I can do the same. It would probably end up being next year, though. Who knows if I'll have time next year. I'll either have to take physics or organic or both.

I really want to take my sister to see the Jonas Brothers in Lexington... except it'll be the Sunday before school starts. And it'll be during Ramadan. That's like... 2 big no-nos.
I really doubt we'll be doing much at school that Monday, anyway. I only have two classes. But it's during Ramadan! Or going to be, rather.
I don't know.
We'll see.

Farrah just texted me. She forgot water and she's at soccer.
I might just go over there and give her some and then go to the gym.
Or something.

It's sad that my only motivation to do anything, these days, is so that  I can find him in the future and show him that I didn't need him at all.... when I really do.
And that's how it's been for the past few years.

The things I force myself to overcome are only ever "in spite". That's it. It's kind of sad.